Living & Working On Purpose

Cyber-Coaching: Why Did I Come to Earth?

Here's the latest request for coaching from Trans4Mind.com:

I do not understand why did I come on Earth? everything that has happened in my life for the past 24 years there are hardly anything that I planned and did...for some strange reason I feel that whatever I plan....just the opposite happens.I am unable to decide what course of action should I take next?I have completed my post graduation an MBA in marketing but I left the job that I got from placements because I do not like selling things,I am not meant to be a sales guy...i know that...but I do not know what can I do? because I get bored with everything within a week.I am not understanding what is the purpose of my life and what is it that can be called an ideal life?
please help me find the reason for my unstability and purpose of life?

I'm going to give you my perspective which is a spiritual one that I offer for you to try on.  You came here of your own free will and while you haven't yet 'figured out' your purpose, you have one.

OK, I know at this point, you may be puzzled about how to determine what it is, so here's where I'm going to invite you to redirect your focus.  You're life purpose isn't about what you were sent here to 'do,' at least not exactly. 

You're here on planet Earth at a time when we're evolving to a new perspective about life purpose -- from the old, cultural paradigm that has said a life purpose is about what one is here to do, to a new paradigm/perspective that says your life purpose is more about who you are as a spiritual being and what you came here to this life to BE & to EXPERIENCE.

Your life purpose is more about being than doing.  And here's the relationship to these two -- as you get clear about who you came here to BE, it will then have the power to shape what you see possible to DO as an expression of your life purpose. 

Try that on for a few minutes and see how it feels.  Does it resonate with some aspect of yourself?

You see, you and much of the rest of the world have been looking for your life purpose in the wrong part of life -- the doing part rather than the being part.

It’s like the old joke (at least old here in the USA) about Joe who was found by his friends one night on his hands and knees under the street lamp. When asked what he was doing, he looked up, pointed down the street and said, "I lost my car keys down in that dark alley, and I'm trying to find them."

Of course, his friends looked puzzled for a moment before one replied, "Well, if you lost the keys down there, why are you up here?"

"The lighting is better here," Joe replied.

Just like Joe, you can spend a lot of time looking for your life purpose in the domain of doing without ever finding it.

Regarding:  "I get bored with everything within a week."  Really? Everything?  Well, to start, try to remember times when you've not been bored.  Think of times when you've been most alive, turned on, excited and inspired.  Start by looking at what you were doing doing those times.  Make a list of them.  Don't be concerned if they were income producing or not.  Could be times when you enjoyed traveling, or spending times in nature, or reading, or rafting down a river, or.... Whatever.

You can add to that list things you haven't done yet but know you would love doing.  Talk to people who know you well and ask them when they've seen you most turned on by life.  If what they say isn't on your list and it rings true for you, add them.  If they don't ring true, ignore them.

Then, once you have a good list — the more the better -- look 'behind' the doing to see what about each of them were you experiencing and who you were being in those moments.

For example -- let's say these were a few things on your list and what you remember experiencing or imagine you would:

Walking in nature                   contentment and feeling connected
Traveling to new places         sense of adventure and excitement at learning / being curious
Volunteering to help animals  making a difference and feeling connected to life / being loving to the                                                  animals
Scuba diving                          adventure and appreciation of beauty

OK, got that?  Now, after you’ve done this part you want to become a detective and find the clues. In this case the clues are the common threads or themes that repeat themselves or seem related.

Those common threads are parts that when put together will become the whole of your life purpose statement.  In the article I’m going to refer you to, these are also referred to as the ‘molecules of meaning’ that are the building block of your life purpose:

http://budurl.com/lopperspective
(There's also a video at http://www.lifeonpurpose.com/oprah related to this)

BTW, if this ‘sample of coaching’ makes sense and resonates, it’s a very small part of the Life On Purpose Process which serves as a roadmap to a life on purpose and is thoroughly outlined in the Life On Purpose Home Study Course.  I offer this ‘purposeful plug’ so you know that you don’t have to continue to flounder around with the good ol’ trial and error approach. <G>  Good fortune as you travel the Purposeful Path.

Coaching from Life On Purpose: Stuck in a Job Too Small for Her Spirit

Here's the latest request for coaching from Trans4Mind.com:

 

My education and work backgrounds are social work and education, and am currently working as an administrator. My job has gone from people-oriented to paperwork-oriented, which is far from my natural skills, abilities and interests. I am losing hope of finding my life purpose as I face each day of mundane, brain-numbing activities. I want to know what career path to pursue, that fits my purpose.  
 
My talents are with people, and I can see things other people don't-each person's unique skills and talents. An example is of someone i worked with, a kid who others were fed up with. I found his strength and put it to use. He appreciated me for it. My gift is inspiring, motivating, empowering people to believe in themselves. 
 
I am passionate about freedom and equality and fight against racism, sexism, and other isms.
 
I am charismatic, and people fascinate me. I am an extrovert- honest, yet diplomatic, firm yet compassionate. I am asked to mediate tough conversations because I can communicate based on each person's needs. I care about people's feelings. 
 
I am a risk-taker, adventurous, and constantly have good ideas, but have problems following through. I'm good at creating new ways of doing things, have great ideas, and always focus on the possibilities, but dislike strict rules, boredom, bureacracy and details. People are naturally drawn to me, and I am able to relate to any person in any situation. I see what connects us. 
 
I believe everything happens for a reason. My career no longer gives my life meaning and purpose, and I have no passion for what I do. I am a passionate person who needs to do what I love, to use my greatest skills, talents, and creativity to contribute to the world. In  my experience, our greatest skills and strengths bring us the most joy and fulfillment, and I hope to use my gifts to help others. Time is passing so fast, and part of me is thankful to have a job right now, but I have to ask if there is more to life than this!

Hi,

I can see a theme emerging in this first week of these coaching requests, which I guess isn't too surprising given the topic is clarifying one's purpose. <G>

The theme I'm speaking about is the recommendation of shifting one's perspective regarding how we typically view the idea of a life purpose from the common / cultural theme that says our life purpose is what we DO (which often leads one to think of their job or career as their life purpose or some significant role like being a parent, or provider, or good member of a family) and shifting instead to viewing a life purpose as who one is as a spiritual being and what we came to this life to be and experience.

So regarding: "I want to know what career path to pursue, that fits my purpose," I recommend you start by discerning what your life purpose is first, then allow it to shape how you choose to express that purpose.

For example, my life purpose is to live a purposeful, passionate and playful life of service, a life of mindful abundance balanced with simplicity and a life of spiritual serenity.  And knowing this I choose to express these qualities of being in my work as a coach, writer, speaker, but also it's what shapes my role as a parent, and even as a volleyball player at the local YMCA.

The good news is that you've done some great 'inner work' to discern many of the qualities you process.  I'll list the ones that stood out in your message:

inspiring, motivating, empowering (simply change to inspiration, motivation, empowerment)
freedom and equality
charismatic,  honest, diplomatic, compassionate
adventurous, and constantly have good ideas (equates to me as creative)

There are no doubt more but that's a good start.  These could be the essence of a life purpose statement that you could live from and into. 

You might want to experiment with these a bit and plug them into a simple format of --  A life on purpose is a _____ life of ______, _______, and ______.  And each blank can have more than one word as long as the words are either nouns or adjectives and not verbs (to avoid having your life purpose statement contain more doing than being, which would turn it into a mission statement instead of a life purpose statement.)

Now, here's the last and perhaps toughest part.  Once you have a working life purpose statement that inspires you and calls you to be in the world, see if you can start 'pouring' your current position into that context and use your current position to practice living true to your life purpose.

You don't have to stay in the position forever but the more you can see that you COULD stay there and still live true to your life purpose, the more freedom you will have to move on to something else.

You see this is the erroneous thinking so many people fall into:

"My career no longer gives my life meaning and purpose." 

You're right it doesn't, and really never did.  We bring meaning and purpose to our work, not the other way around.  Does that mean your current work is right 'in the center of the beam' of your life purpose?  No, probably not. But as you get clearer what your purpose is and begin to 'test drive' living true to it, your current position will be a good place to practice living and expressing your purpose.

You may also find these resources about the Life On Purpose Perspective of interest and value to you.

And also this video at related to this.

Hang in there. You're asking the right questions, which is half the battle. As a recent article I read said, " Asking the right questions determines our quality of life."  Check it out.

Coaching On: When Fear Shapes Our Lives

Here's a request for coaching that recently came in from Trans4Mind.com :

I don't think for me it's a matter of finding out what my life purpose is because I know that I have been gifted with talent and a passion for music. Ever since I was a little girl, I could remember standing in front of the mirror pretending to be a rockstar, singing in my hair brush. 
 
My dream is to sing and through music make an impact in teh world but my question is more in regards to my creative block and some sort of mental/emotional resistence I seem to have in pursuing my life pursue to become a performer/singer.
 
You would think that some who really had the passion and determination to materilze their dream would be taking action but I feel stuck and i tend to procratsinate and avoid every opportunity I have to live out my life purpose. It's just total insanity. Is it fear, is it just pure laziness? What is stopping me from taking action, from dedicating more time and energy into the one thing I love so much?
 
Can you help?

And here was my response back:

Thank you for your question - Is it fear, is it just pure laziness? What is  stopping me from taking action, from dedicating more time and energy into the one thing I love so much?

I can really feel your frustration and angst in your message. So, let's see what I can provide to start to 'unstick' you and provide you access to a greater degree of freedom to pursue your passion.

To begin, real briefly, let me make a distinction regarding life purpose.  While most of our culture views a life purpose as what we're here to 'DO' (sing, dance, coach, doctoring, healing, etc.)  the Life On Purpose Perspective offers a different view -- your life purpose is who you are as a spiritual being and what you came here to be and to experience.  Your life purpose is the context of BEING that you pour your life of DOING into, so who you are begins to shape what you do, and what you do becomes ways in which you express your life purpose.  (more info on this in links below)

With that in mind, please consider this second distinction.  We all have not one but two life purposes. In other words, we have two primary life shaping forces in our lives and each of them is distinct to ourselves.  We have our true, or as I like to refer to it, our Divinely Inspired Life Purpose, and we have our Inherited Purpose. Both can be powerful shaping forces in our life, and when our lives are being shaped by the Inherited Purpose, it prevents us from either knowing our true purpose or it acts as a master saboteur undermining our life purpose.

And you're right on when you suspect that FEAR may be playing a big part in your dilemma.  You see, our Divinely Inspired Life Purpose arises from and has as its foundation Universal Love (which often equates for people as their relationship to God, or a Higher Power, or their spiritual nature).  But the Inherited Purpose is based in fear, a sense of lack and a need to struggle to survive.

Here's the catchy part. Your Inherited Purpose operates most effectively be remaining in the background of your awareness.  Since it's formed in our early formative years, it's pretty easy for it to stay in the background, kinda like the air conditioning unit you don't even year in a room until it shuts off and suddenly you realize there was a soft humming in the background.

So, my coaching to you -- uncover your Inherited Purpose so you can begin to own it and eventually make friends with it so one day it can become your ally in living true to your Divinely Inspired Purpose.

By the way, this is a critically important step along the Purposeful Path that is fully outlined in Passage 3 of the 6 Passages of the Life On Purpose Process. 

For more on the Life On Purpose Perspective, check out this blog posting from my next book on the subject:

(There's also a video related to this)

You may also want to take the Life On Purpose Self Test to get a clearler picture of your starting point, as well as pointing you towards your new life.

And thanks for giving me this opportunity to express my own life purpose in this way, and for being willing for to share it publicly so that others may be served.

Simply and purposefully,
BRAD

Struggling with past religious beliefs

We've recently have received a flurry of questions from people interested  in bringing a deeper sense of purpose and meaning to their lives, in part by  our expanding our 'collaborative adventure' with Trans4mind.com, and part through our own network.

So, feeling that these questions and answers may be of service to more than just the one person who asked the question, we've started a new area of this blog -- "Ask Brad & Ann."  And we'd like to invite your questions as well, and  request your permission to share them anonymously.  You can send them to us via email at admin@lifeonpurpose.com or post them here as a comment. We'll respond to the ones that we feel we can offer some insight.

Now, here's our first one.

Hello,
 I have been very encouraged by your site. I have to say that I have
 been searching most of my life, now 49, for my "purpose" and it was
 always connected to a career. I'm not sure I totally get what you are
 saying yet but.........it is getting clearer. The struggle i have is
 with being "born again" christian and what I have been taught my "life
 purpose" is. Also, the there are people who would say your teaching is
 against God. These are some powerful struggles I have had for a few
 yrs. now. I'm just not sure what I believe about God and if the bible
 is true or not. Anyway, my life is so much better when I am helping or
 encouraging others. I need a deep sense of purpose and I'm  trying to
 find it.  Thank you for the site and the information you share here.

Ann's response back:

Thank you for writing your heart felt message to us. I completely understand
your struggle about being a "born again" Christian and what you have been
taught versus what we are saying about a life purpose. First of all, we are
not suggesting you do anything against your beliefs. We do however encourage
people to explore and ask questions about their beliefs.

Many of us have been taught things as young children or adults that just
don't make sense anymore. For example, when I was a child in Sunday school
they used to show us pictures of a white bearded man in the clouds of the
sky and refer to him as God. As an adult that just doesn't work for me any
more. As I have studied science and seen space pictures and start to
understand the universe more, it does not make sense that a God is floating
around in the clouds somewhere. Yet, I still believe in God but He is much
bigger and more powerful for me now.

From our perspective at Life on Purpose, a life purpose should include all
of who we are not just our jobs or role that we perform in life. A life
purpose includes all of life, all aspects including our faith and spiritual
life. Exploring what you believe about God and the Bible are healthy for you
because you can come to a place where you can have a more personal
relationship with God not just the one people have told you to have. 

Being of service is an important aspect for any of us who really want our
lives to make a difference. Encouraging and helping others sounds like a
rewarding part of life for you. Keep up the work of clarifying your life
purpose. You will be rewarded with a happy and satisfying life when you get
clear about your purpose. Please feel free to explore all of our website,
download the free items like the book excerpt and subscribe to our free
Ezine, Purposeful Pondering.

Have a wonderful day and week and God bless you.